It was amazing to see the reception for “What Makes a Great Principal: The Five Pillars of Effective School Leadership” this past week! Not only did I feel blessed to see many people excited about the release and what they had already read, but I also loved this reflection from Abby Ramos Stanutz on what the book meant to her as a teacher and contributor.
This video from Abby Ramos Stanutz is exactly what we were hoping #WhatMakesAGreatPrincipal would become! Loved her chapter in the book and I am so grateful that she was one of the 15 contributors to share a chapter on a great principal who had made a difference in their lives.… pic.twitter.com/23Kw0qksqp
— George Couros (@gcouros) April 20, 2024
We knew that if the book would be something that could have an impact, the voices of those who are impacted the most by school principals would have to be evident throughout.
One of the things that we appreciated in putting this book together was the ability to connect with educators from different communities and grade levels and gain their diverse perspectives on #WhatMakesAGreatPrincipal. The beautiful thing about the contributors and the time we live in is that I haven’t met most of them in person but have connected with them online.
The quote below from the book embodies a belief I hold very dear to my heart.
From my perspective, technology has the ability to make us more connected as humans if we choose to use it that way. That won’t be done with technology alone but with how we intentionally use the tools at our fingertips.
Yet, as much as I appreciate the ability we have to connect and collaborate with people in our building and across the world, the relationships that always seem to be hurt the most in the careers of educators are the ones they have at home, and with themselves.
One of the pillars we discuss in “What Makes a Great Principal” is the importance of being a “Relationship Builder” and how it connects to everything we do in education. But we do not limit our focus to the relationships we build in our jobs.
Here is a snippet I wrote in the book on the importance of connecting outside our work:
“It is important to remember that although relationships are crucial in our school communities, they are just as important outside of them. Too often, great principals become struggling people because they give everything to their school and have nothing left for their family, friends, and, most often, themselves. It is easy to give everything to everyone else and have nothing left over for ourselves.
The weird thing is that when we regularly take care of ourselves, it leads to better leadership. This quote from musician Solange Knowles is a truth many principals, current and past, could attest to: “When you take care of yourself, you’re a better person for others. When you feel good about yourself, you treat others better.”
Do you want your students and staff to be burned out and have no lives outside of school? Of course not. So understand they are following your actions more than your words.
Subtle remarks in what we hear in education speak to the opposite message and can set a tone that school is everything and we must give up our personal lives for the sake of education. This is one of the reasons I prefer that we refer to schools as a team, not family.
To encapsulate this point, I’ll share a quote from the 2014 Harvard Business Review article “Your Company Is Not a Family,” in which the authors point out how differently we treat our own children when things are not going well, versus someone in our organization:
In a real family, parents can’t fire their children. Try to imagine disowning your child for poor performance: “We’re sorry Susie, but your mom and I have decided you’re just not a good fit. Your table-setting effort has been deteriorating for the past 6 months, and your obsession with ponies just isn’t adding any value. We’re going to have to let you go. But don’t take it the wrong way; it’s just family.”
You can’t do everything for everyone, nor would you want to.
As you focus on building relationships in your community, realize the ones that are often not mentioned in schools are the ones that will be the most important long after you serve in the role.”
George Couros, What Makes a Great Principal
Simply put, you can’t help and effectively lead others for any duration of time if you don’t take care of yourself.
I know I have lost myself in my job before, and I am much better at separating work from my personal life today. But that is a time I will never get back with my kids. I am grateful I figured it out earlier rather than too late. Relationships in education are crucial, but I would say they are much more important outside of work.
Don’t forget to disconnect at work to connect at home.
(You can pick up your copy of the book here! I hope you enjoyed the snippet above!)
