While I write this, it is Saturday night, and I am sitting in a Starbucks thinking about what I should blog about. Typically, I would not be here on a Saturday night, nor any other night during the week, especially at 733 PM, as I would be winding down to get to bed. Going to bed early and waking up at the same time every morning is my jam. As a kid, I thought that when I was an adult, I would stay up late every night.
Then I saw this meme and totally can relate:
I am old people now, and I cannot communicate how much I love going to bed early.
So why I am still at a Starbucks on a Saturday night?
Well, I am on the road between events, and it was too much to travel back home for the weekend, only to return to the same state. Travel takes a lot out of me, and I needed the rest, so I thought I would get some work done tonight instead of having to do it at home later this week when I get to be with my family.
Rewind to over a decade ago, and if you went to the same Starbucks in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, and were there any time between 7 and 10 PM, you would find me on my computer blogging, answering emails, or creating a presentation. This was after my day teaching spin in the morning, rushing off to school to be a principal or assistant principal, and then heading home to do a quick workout to pursue opportunities as a speaker.
I am not surprised that I worked as much as I did at that time, as I stayed up until at least 11 PM every night. Who was that person?
Things were so much different then. I didn’t have a family, and I was really starting to find some momentum as a consultant and writer. I put in a ton of work in every night in pursuit of a dream. And in many ways, George from then would be proud of George today.
But this isn’t a brag post in any way. It is about having perspective.
Yes, I worked incredibly hard at the time, and because of that, opportunities came to me due to the groundwork I established, and my willingness to constantly evolve in my learning, while also staying true to who I want to be. I still work hard, but it is different today than it was then.
I never set out to be an “academic,” but I did want to be somebody who was passionate about education and could create that “laugh, cry, think” experience in my work with others. As a student, my favorite sports writer was Rick Reilly, and I would rush to the back page of every Sports Illustrated to read his one-page article on any sports story that was more than statistics, but getting to know the humans behind the athletic events. I cannot remember anything I read in a class in high school, but I can still remember crying while reading his article titled “Strongest Dad in the World” and being inspired by his type of writing. My icons were Jim Valvano in speaking and Rick Reilly in writing, because when you listened or read what they had shared, you focused less on how incredible they were and more on how much better you could become. The passion I have for what I create is more about what I hope to inspire in others.
This is why I am always cautious of telling others to “find balance” because some of my greatest opportunities came out of being a totally “unbalanced” individual.
To the point where I had let my physical and mental health get to a point where I feel somewhat lucky to be here still today.
I would never tell anyone pursuing their dreams to find balance, but I would do my best to caution them on some of the mistakes I have made in my mental and physical health, as well as other areas of my life. I have learned more from my mistakes than my successes, and that willingness to learn from rather than dwell, helps me to continue to grow today. I still have a way to go.
I think about this tweet a lot:
But I might think of it differently than you might expect.
I am proud of the work that I put in the past, and that I continue to do today (it is past 830 now on a Saturday night…party!), but I also know that I gave up things that I wish I had more of today.
And the thing is, when you are pursuing your passions and dreams, many people talk about the hard work you have to put in, but few focus on the sacrifices of really good things that you give up. There are so many elements of my life I still struggle with, but isn’t that true for everyone in some way? We pursue our goals while often falling short in other areas.
But at different points in our lives, we want different things. As much as I love my work, I never thought I would enjoy coming and being home as much as I do today. Watching my kids wait at the door for me when I get home from a trip is the best thing I have ever experienced. I dread the day that I will be the one waiting at the door for them, but I know that I will have the same excitement for them that they do for me today.
As much as I love that feeling, I wasn’t ready for it over a decade ago. Every decision and opportunity we have had, and have lost, have led us to this moment now.
So what is the point of what I am writing?
Two things.
Don’t judge others for not being where you are today, because your definition of success can not only be different from theirs, but it can also change over time.
And secondly, if you want to inspire others to live a better life, do not do it by telling them, but by creating and living the life you want.
This will inspire many, and honestly, will also make you the target of jealousy and envy of others. I have learned that I do not pay attention to those who judge how I live my life unless I’m interested in living theirs. One of my favorite ideas I have been exposed to over the years is that the two people you want to impress are the 8-year-old version and the 84-year-old version of yourself. To make them happy doesn’t mean you have no regrets, but that you can have as many do-overs as your life allows.
Create the life you want, and it may inspire others to do the same, even if their journey and destination look different.
(Below is a post from Instagram where I briefly discuss some thinking on this topic. Life should be less about “balance” and more about presence and purpose. That is why I am trying to focus on.)
View this post on Instagram
