Have you ever received feedback on something from a large group of people and overlooked or even dismissed an overwhelming amount of positive feedback to only dwell on a few negative comments?
If you have never done that, you are already better than I am.
Too often, I have been consumed by little comments that seemed more about what someone else was going through rather than feedback intended to elevate my work.
Not all criticisms are bad, and if there is intent to lift, when acted upon, it can make you better.
But I have learned to ignore comments from those who seem more interested in tearing me down rather than lifting me up. Sometimes, I have even used that as fuel to elevate my work. Growing up a fan of Michael Jordan, he was notorious for taking small, impersonal slights (even if he made them up) as a way to elevate his game.
I will admit, I kind of love that mentality. It has driven me in the past.
But I saw a video recently that made me think differently about that perspective and how it can sometimes weigh on me negatively.
Jared McCain is in his second year as an NBA player, and seeing him play over the past couple of years, he is a pretty great player, which made it all the more shocking when he was traded in the middle of the 2025-2026 season from the Philadelphia 76ers to the Oklahoma City Thunder.
Now, if you don’t watch the NBA, you might still know Jared McCain from TikTok, as he has developed quite the following for his dances and upbeat attitude. He seems to be quite the optimist.
When he was asked if he was playing this season, driven by proving his “doubters” wrong (insinuating the team that traded him), he said something that really hit me hard. He basically said, “It is not about proving people wrong, but proving the people who believed in me, right.”
He talked about how much it matters to validate his support system, and even to see and appreciate the team that traded him earlier in the season, because they had the willingness to draft him in the first place. That is a pretty upbeat attitude!
Here is the video:
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When I first saw it, I thought, “That’s noble, but not me.”
But then I started to dig into my own past and think about whether I had ever done that myself, and I realized there was one time in particular when, if I hadn’t embraced that attitude, you would not be reading this post.
What can I do for you?
I don’t want to get into the details of the entire story, as I will save that for later, but I remember being disillusioned with education and about a month away from quitting. I enjoyed the school community I worked at, but I didn’t enjoy my teaching assignment, and I was ready to move from a small town to a larger city.
Honestly, my job was causing me to be depressed and feel like I had no purpose.
In a conversation with an associate superintendent, who had noticed that I was struggling, he stopped me in the middle of our conversation and said, “What can I do for you?”
Without hesitation, I told him I was miserable where I was and wanted to leave the district and move to the city, but I couldn’t find a job.
He could tell how frustrated I was, and he said to me, “Look, I can’t promise you anything, but I have a contact in a division near the city, and I could encourage them to give you an interview, but the rest will be up to you.” I told him immediately that anything would help.
Fast-forward a week later, and I was contacted for an interview and hired a few weeks later. I couldn’t believe it. Little did I know that opportunity would totally change the trajectory of my career.
Partly because I got my foot in the door, but also because I committed to kicking it down.
I called the superintendent and shared the news, and I remember saying to him, “I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this opportunity you provided me. I promise you that you will never regret vouching for me, and I will do everything in my power to excel in this new opportunity.”
He was very kind, but you could tell he felt he would never hear from me again.
That summer, I committed to going into this job with an outlook that was different from my career prior. I was blessed with the opportunity to make a first impression, and I was going to be so much better in this new role.
Within one year, I was appointed as an Assistant Principal at a school within the division.
I called the superintendent and said, “Hey…I wanted to let you know that I remember what you did for me and how I promised to do my best to honor it. I was just named as an AP in this district.”
He congratulated me and thanked me for the call.
Two years later, when I was named a principal at a different school in the district, I called him and repeated the same sentence, switching ‘Assistant Principal’ to ‘Principal,’ and this time he was a bit astonished.
Two years later, when I called him to tell him I was named Division Principal of the district, I got the feeling he thought to himself, “How did we let this person go?”
And although I appreciated that feeling I received from him, I needed the change to become a better version of myself. I did not work on those opportunities in his district the way I did in this new place.
But I was also driven to prove someone who had vouched for me, correct.
Knowing that with every new opportunity I would have the chance to call him and let him know my progress and that I had not forgotten what he had done for me was the nudge I needed at the time.
There is so much talk in education about schools or districts that have leaders who do not believe in them, and I get that. There are times in my life when I have been (and still am, in some ways) driven to prove people wrong.
But it is a discredit to many others who believed in you and were your support system when you needed them the most.
Even when you feel the slights from a few, stop and take stock of the many people who believe in you, whether they are your colleagues, bosses, family, friends, or even strangers. They deserve to be proved right just as much as anyone else needs to be proven wrong.
That drive might be the fuel you need to get into a better place. Not just “better” in where you arrive, but the feeling you have while getting there.
