One of my favorite people in the world is Lainie Rowell.
We first connected in 2020 on my podcast, and even though I just wanted to learn about her work, we have become great friends since then, and she has been one of my biggest supporters. What makes Lainie special is that many people would say that she is also one of their biggest supporters. People who have the energy and enthusiasm to lift so many are incredibly special people, and Lainie is one of the best.
Her podcast (you should listen to it) connects with people both in and out of education, and some of her guests have extensive followings.
When she told me that she had an opportunity to interview Dan Pink on her podcast (in an upcoming episode), I was both so proud and a wee bit envious of that opportunity she had created for herself.
He has one of the most-viewed TED Talks of all time, and his book, “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us,” has impacted me tremendously as an educator, especially in how I see grading practices and awards in education.
I asked Lainie about how she gets such incredible guests, and her story about Dan Pink resonated.
Ultimately, her story was that she would ask and let people know how much she appreciates their work. It was more about letting these people know the impact their work had on her, not just about their “name” and following. No matter how much any person achieves, I think they want to know that the work they are passionate about has had a positive impact on others. And Lainie isn’t shy about asking and sharing her admiration for others. I know that when she does that, people see her genuine nature and are drawn to her, and I do not blame them one bit.
Yet, the assumption for those we hold in high regard is that the praise we want to bestow on them has already been shared by someone else.
Why should I waste my breath saying something they have surely heard from others?
If everyone believed that, we would never compliment anyone—kind of a bad way to live.
After my conversation with Lainie (captured on an upcoming podcast), I told her I had to rush off to the Orlando Magic season opener with my daughter, Kallea. As the oldest child, she has come to the most games with me, and I remember having to coax her to the games; in her fourth season of joining me, she couldn’t wait to attend opening night. It makes me incredibly happy that she enjoys something as much as I do, and more so that we appreciate having the experience together.
But as much as she loves watching basketball with me, my daughter loves reading.
So much.
So, so much.
She has read longer books than I ever got through, and at 9 years old, she has probably already read more books than I have in my 50 years. It is beautiful to see how much she loves reading.
One of her favorite series is Harry Potter, and she has not only read the books but also watched the movies. Honestly, not my jam, but it is hers, and I love watching her enthusiasm for the series.
And on this Orlando Magic opening night, I noticed on Instagram, a picture posted by the team of actor Matthew Lewis, who played Neville Longbottom in the series. I did not know the character’s name, but I did recognize the actor from the movie.
I showed Kallea the post, and she couldn’t believe she was in the same building as an actor from the movie! She was so excited, but eventually drew her attention back to the game.
After a big Magic win, we started to head toward the exits, and I noticed Mr. Lewis in our path. Kallea had no clue, as I have the benefit of being 18 inches taller than her, and so I decided to make my move. I channeled my inner-Lainie and said, “Mr. Lewis, my daughter really loves your movies and your character in the movies. Would you be okay to take a picture with her, as I know it would mean a lot?”
He looked at me and said, “Of course! I would be honored!”
He did not simply say, “Yes!”
He said “Yes!” with enthusiasm.
I fumbled nervously with my phone and caught the following picture, with Kallea barely realizing what was happening:
He made her already fantastic night absolutely incredible, and her smile made me feel like Dad-of-the-year for even a few moments. When I make my kids smile, I cannot tell you how much it means to me. She was so excited, and I was honestly so proud that I did something that made her so happy.
Lainie’s advice not only inspired me that day, but also reminded me of what my mom always taught me when I was younger. It never hurts to ask because, although you might hear no, you may hear yes! And sometimes that “Yes!” will come with enthusiasm, making it so much better to hear.
And this is not only about reaching out to celebrities.
It is about those opportunities you want to create for yourself that you are nervous to chase.
As a principal, I knew that what we were doing in our school could spread throughout the district. I contacted my superintendent and pitched a new job to him, and remember saying, “We always say we are preparing kids for jobs that don’t even exist, but doing it through the jobs that already exist. Here is why I think this new role could create something amazing…”
His initial reaction was shock. A few months later, he had asked me to start the new role.
I want to think that role had an impact on others, but it also led to many opportunities that came to me, and some that I pursued, because I didn’t hesitate to ask.
That opportunity you want might be an ask away.
I would rather ask and hear no than never ask and always wonder what could have been.
Lainie’s inspiration couldn’t have come at a better time, and what is better than something I am excited about is doing something my daughter will never forget.
I am so glad I asked.
Kallea and I watched the movie, “We Bought a Zoo” starring Matt Damon, and I remember his character sharing this quote on how he met the love of his life with his son:
“Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage, just literally twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery, and
I promise you something great will come of it.”
Benjamin Mee, We Bought a Zoo
Instead of wondering what could have been, I now have a shared core memory with my daughter because of a few seconds of bravery.
The opportunity you’re hoping for might be only one courageous question away.
