Sometimes change happens to you, or you can make it happen yourself. Either way, it is happening. Will you leverage that opportunity to create something better than what you currently have?
I thought about the above sentiment when I received this email from a reader recently regarding this April 2025 blog post, and with her permission (I will refer to her as MB), I wanted to share this excerpt:
I will admit, I cheered a little when I read that.
My mentor used to say that everything happens for a reason, and it’s incredible to think that the reallocation of a position led to something better for MB. There are so many things that I look back on from my past, and the thing I often most wanted, and didn’t get, became the best thing that happened to my future.
Even this past week, a good friend of mine told me how she was disappointed that she didn’t get a specific job, but the organization was so disrespectful to her during the interview process that she realized it was for the best. No matter the “title” or position you are working to obtain, you have to work with people, and if they do not make you better, the position you worked toward will eventually become irrelevant.
Now, some of you might be thinking, “Well, I do hate my job, but I doubt my organization is going to reallocate me to a position that I will love.”
More than likely, you are right.
So that is when you look to create the change you want. But that isn’t always easy, and I can tell you that from experience.
Over the past several years, my health has been better than in the prior decade. Mentally and physically, I know I can get better, but I am so much healthier today than I was even five years ago. However, this required a significant amount of work, and ultimately, a shift in my self-perception.
There was one day I distinctly remember when I hit my lowest point in my own health.
Every day, I would feel extremely lethargic when I woke up, and it took me a while to get going on with my day. I had felt bad for so long that I just thought it was how I was supposed to feel. We sometimes are so used to a bad situation that we accept it and see no way out.
I needed some new clothes, as all the ones I was currently wearing were too tight or didn’t fit at all. My wife and I went to a Men’s plus-sized clothing store, and I still struggled with finding something that would fit. As I was trying on some pants that I was surprised were so tight, I looked at Paige, and I remember saying, with a bit of an embarrassed chuckle, “This is just who I am now.” In that moment, I saw her look at me, and a sad look came into her eyes, not because I was at an unhealthy weight, but because she saw that I had given up on myself.
The reality is that giving up on yourself can happen if you are 100 pounds overweight or have six-pack abs that you could grate cheese on. I had such hope for others in my work, but I felt I was a lost cause.
So the next day, I tried to get better. And I failed.
So I went again the next day, and failed again.
I could do this for about 67-121 more times, but that would be redundant, and I am assuming you already get the picture. The point isn’t that I immediately got into shape and found instant success; it is that I immediately allowed myself to go again tomorrow. In MB’s initial email, you could see that she had resigned to what was, and perhaps forgot what could be, but as you read the email, you could see “light” in her words.
As I wrote in the post MB referred to, “The thing that often holds us back from the future we are trying to create is holding onto a past or present we know we no longer want.” You might not be where you want to be today, but don’t give up. Go again tomorrow. And if that doesn’t work, try again.
I am still not where I ultimately want to be and might not be as successful in some areas of life that I would like, but I know that giving up on what I could become is the worst thing I could do.
Your dreams only die when you give up on them.
Go again because there is still time.
